“I've always had a problem with the average macho man - they've always been a threat to me.”

“I definitely feel closer to the feminine side of the human being than I do the male - or the American idea of what a male is supposed to be. Just watch a beer commercial and you'll see what I mean.”

“Never met a wise man, if so its a woman.”

“I only remember a few things about Jimmy Carter. He had big lips and liked peanuts. I now know that Jimmy Carter was and is a good man.”

“I really haven't had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I'd rather tell a story about somebody else.”

“Come now, what masques, what dances shall we haveTo wear away this long age of three hoursBetween our after-supper and bedtime?”

“Performing on a stool, we've got a sight to make you drool, seven virgins and a mule, keep it cool, keep it cool.”

“Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like to watch both of 'em at play, either back home in their native state, or after they've been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington.”