“With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.”

“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”

“When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.”

“Language is a tool for concealing the truth. If we could read each other's minds, this would be a horror show.”

“When will all the rhetorical questions end?”

“Our expenses are all for conformity.”

“But it is a cold, lifeless business when you go to the shops to buy something, which does not represent your life and talent, but a goldsmith's.”

“American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off.”