"The voice belonged to Mr. Pzyrbovich, an..." - Quote by Dave Barry
The voice belonged to Mr. Pzyrbovich, an algebra teacher who was always called Mr. P, for obvious reasons. He has a heavy accent, which a lot of kids said made him hard to understand, although to be fair some of these kids would have never understood algebra anyway.
More by Dave Barry
“If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.”
“If you have ever seen the movie Night of the Living Dead, you have a rough idea how modern corporations and organizations operate, with projects and proposals that everybody thought were killed constantly rising from their graves to stagger back into meetings and eat the brains of the living.”
“I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.”
More on Humor
“A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.”
“I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me”
“Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'”
More on School
“Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.”
“School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of dull, unintelligible tasks, new and unpleasant ordinances, brutal violations of common sense and common decency. It doesn't take a reasonably bright boy long to discover that most of what is rammed into him is nonsense, and that no one really cares very much whether he learns it or not.”
“I was at the foot of my class.”