"Dogs do not grasp the concept of..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.”

“The story you envision as you start out is always a great story; when the facts turn out to be different from, or more complex than, what you expected, your first reaction is always disappointment. That's when you must fight the urge to bend the story to your preconceived notions. First, it's dishonest. And second, in the end, the truth is always the best story.”

“Your friends love you anyway.”

“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.”

“My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.”

“There is only one way to make money at writing, and that is to marry a publisher's daughter.”

“You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!”

“Dogs wait for us faithfully.”

“We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.”