"Don't you wish you had a job..." - Quote by Dave Barry
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!
More by Dave Barry
“Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe.”
“If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires. More than once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts I got for a new set of tires.”
“Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.”
More on Humor
More on Writing
“Never write about a place until you're away from it, because it gives you perspective. Immediately after you've seen something you can give a photographic description of it and make it accurate. That's good practice, but it isn't creative writing.”
“The good ending dismisses us with a touch of ceremony and throws a backward light of significance over the story just read. It makes it, as they say, or unmakes it. A weak beginning is forgettable, but the end of a story bulks in the reader's mind like the giant foot in a foreshortened photograph.”
“I would write ads for deodorants or labels for catsup bottles if I had to.”