"When I hear a person talking about..." - Quote by George Carlin

“In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.”

“Voting is a meaningless exercise. I'm not going to waste my time with it. These parties, these politicians are given to us as a way of making us feel we have freedom of choice. But we don't. Everything is done to you in this country.”

“Always do whatever's next.”

“People who talk incessantly about "change" are often dogmatically set in their ways. They want to change other people.”

“The best government is a benevolent tyranny tempered by an occasional assassination.”

“It is sound statesmanship to add two battleships every time our neighbour adds one and two stories to our skyscrapers every time he piles a new one on top of his to threaten our light. There is no limit to this soundness but the sky.”

“Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.”

“The natural cause of the human mind is certainly from credulity to skepticism.”

“I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word "cynic" has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. "George, you're cynical." Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know?”