"People always tell me "Have a nice..." - Quote by George Carlin

“The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.”

“I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.”

“You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.”

“If you worry more for others' beliefs, then you will be their slave.”

“Lovers should guard their strangeness. If they forgive too much, all slides into confusion and meanness.”

“Stop Looking for Permission to Be Yourself.The true individual is no more concerned over what others may think of him or her than is the sun troubled by people complaining that it's too warm, or that it shines too bright!”

“No sane man will dance.”

“Once when I had remarked on the affection quite often found between cat and dog, my friend replied, "Yes. But I bet no dog would ever confess it to the other dogs.”

“One should never listen. To listen is a sign of indifference to one's hearers.”