"Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"?..." - Quote by George Carlin

“I was never a pipe or bong man. That's California stuff. I was an Eastern roller.”

“Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.”

“The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone. Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy was into reds. Grumpy, too much speed. Sneezy was a full blown coke freak. Doc was a connection. Dopey was into everything. Any old orifice will do for Dopey. He's always got his arm out and his leg up. And then, the one we always forget, because he was Bashful. Bashful didn't use drugs. He was paranoid on his own. Didn't need any help on that ladder.”

“I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.”

“I ate one anchovy, and that is why I did not eat two anchovies.”

“It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?”

“You can't get wet from the word 'water.'”

“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”

“I don't want to talk grammar. I want to talk like a lady.”