āI always wished for this, but it's almost turning into more of a nightmare than a dream.ā
āAs honour, love, obedience, troops of friends, / I must not look to have; but, in their stead, / Curses, not loud but deep, mouth-honour, breath, / Which the poor heart would fain deny, and dare not" (5.3.25-28).ā
ā William Shakespeare