"Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior..." - Quote by George Carlin

“Movies and television don't make you violent; all they do is channel the violence more creatively.”

“I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.”

“A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.”

“It's like deja-vu, all over again.”

“I tried being reasonable, I didn't like it.”

“Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.”

“He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put into vials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw, inclement summers.”

“If you're a fish and you want to be a fish-stick, you have to have very good posture.”

“I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.”