"Before they invented drawing boards, what did..." - Quote by George Carlin

“My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.”

“We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing”

“Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.”

“There is no city in the United States in which I can get a warmer welcome and fewer votes than Columbia, Ohio.”

“I'm kind of a night owl.”

“It's just too bad we can't have an epidemic of botulism.”

“Language is the most elementary aspect to our humanness, probably. In addition to that, it's the embodiment, it's the apotheosis of the human experience, it's the way we summarize ourselves.”

“The fight against bad English is not frivolous.”

“There is immeasurably more left inside than what comes out in words. Your thought, even a bad one, while it is with you, is always more profound, but in words it is more ridiculous and dishonorable.”