"Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain..." - Quote by George Carlin

“Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.”

“Why is there such controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who'd be willing to test any drug they can come up with.”

“So I want to thank the Pentagon, the Soviet Union and the military-industrial complex from the bottom of my heart. Without them, I could never have become the man I am today.”

“Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.”

“Music: what so many sentences aspire to be.”

“A metaphor is like a simile.”

“Teddy Roosevelt is still a hero among environmentalists for his conservationist policies.”

“If I have any lasting worth, it will be because I have tried to make people remember what the Earth is meant to look like.”

“Once-ler! You're making such smogulous smoke - my poor swomee swans, why they can't sing a note! No one can sing who has smog in his throat.”