"Cancer research is a growth industry...." - Quote by George Carlin

“There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.”

“What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.”

“People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?”

“A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. I'm going to go plant a tree there, with bones on it, then the dog will come back and say, "Shoot! It worked! I must distribute these bones equally for I have a green paw!"”

“They were frightfully angry. Quite apart from the stones no spider has ever liked being called Attercop, and Tomnoddy of course is insulting to anybody.”

“I think that all creative people are a little bit nuts.”

“My refusing to eat meat occasioned inconveniency, and I have been frequently chided for my singularity. But my light repast allows for greater progress, for greater clearness of head and quicker comprehension.”

“The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.”

“Whenever you have war, you often have more deaths because the medical system and the food system breaks down, than you have directly through violence.”