"Most people are not particularly good at..." - Quote by George Carlin

“I tell ya, if I hadn't chosen the career of being a performer, I think linguistics would have been a natural area that I'd have loved - to teach it, probably, Language has always fascinated me. There's a genetic inheritance there a good language gene, which I inherited [from my mother and grandfather] and she fostered that in me as he fostered that in her.”

“The best thing about living at the water's edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.”

“Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!”

“Chastity is a virtue with some, but with many it is almost a vice.”

“We often bore others when we think we cannot possibly bore them.”

“There are some loony people in this world!”

“This country has far more problems than it deserves and far more solutions than it applies.”

“Those who failed to oppose me, who readily agreed with me and accepted all my views, were those who did me the most injury.”

“We often select envenomed praise which, by a reaction upon those we praise, shows faults we could not have shown by other means.”