“The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.”

“Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.”

“I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.”

“The chief business of the nation, as a nation, is the setting up of heroes, mainly bogus.”

“Every complex problem has a simple solution that doesn't work.”

“The dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.”

“Thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows.”

“If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.”