"The best thing about living at the..." - Quote by George Carlin
The best thing about living at the water's edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.
More by George Carlin
“I went through the usual stages: imp, rascal, scalawag, whippersnapper. And, of course, after that it's just a small step to full-blown sociopath.”
“War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.”
“People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands. And fight songs. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking.”
More on Humor
“If you're asking whether I intentionally mess up my hair, no, I don't. And certain things, like my freckles, they're just there. I don't do anything consciously. I suppose I could get contact lenses. I suppose I could comb my hair more often.”
“I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End...'”
“The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.”
More on Solitude
“If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to yourself or even less in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight.”
“I never had intimate friends, and the few who came close are in New York. By which I mean they're dead, because that's where I suppose condemned souls go in order not to endure the truth of their past lives.”
“I would not come in. I meant not even if asked, And I hadn't been.”