"I never stop running. I'm not one..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“Editorials are written by people who have agreed to have several strong opinions a day and to write them down, provided they do not have to sign their names.”

“The issue we are reluctant to talk about is even more sensitive than condoms. The issue - and I will try to be tasteful here - is that sometimes it seems like maybe the president of the United States is kind of dumb. If you get what I mean. What I mean is, I am not totally confident that the president would get what I mean, unless several aides explained it to him. And even then, he might forget.”

“And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West.”

“There is no city in the United States in which I can get a warmer welcome and fewer votes than Columbia, Ohio.”

“If you have embraced a creed which appears to be free from the ordinary dirtiness of politics - a creed from which you yourself cannot expect to draw any material advantage - surely that proves that you are in the right?”

“Most people who serve in Washington have been trained either as lawyers or as political operatives--professions that tend to place a premium on winning arguments rather than solving problems.”

“The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.”

“What is any political campaign save a concerted effort to turn out a set of politicians who are admittedly bad and put in a set who are thought to be better. The former assumption, I believe is always sound; the latter is just as certainly false. For if experience teaches us anything at all it teaches us this: that a good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.”

“I'm gonna say that I have followed every presidential campaign since the campaign of President [John F.] Kennedy in 1960.”