"Comedy is tragedy revisited or hostility. It..." - Quote by Phyllis Diller

“I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.”

“I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.”

“Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.”

“It is funnier to bend things than to break them.”

“Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!”

“I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.”

“For life is terribly deficient in form. Its catastrophes happen in the wrong way and to the wrong people. There is a grotesque horror about its comedies, and its tragedies seem to culminate in farce.”

“Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.”

“Frequently my life has been likened to a Greek tragedy, and the actress in me cannot deny that comparison.”