"I don't own a cell phone or..." - Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.
More by Mitch Hedberg
“People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.”
“When you start out in comedy, or probably in a lot of things, you want it to happen fast. You don't want to see yourself having to do this for seven years before you start to get some feedback.”
“I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "I'll just get a tan instead."”
More on Humor
“One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.”
“My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.”
“When you open the elevator on the top floor of a building and the other guy doesn't get out, something is seriously wrong.”
More on Technology
“There will one day spring from the brain of science a machine or force so fearful in its potentialities, so absolutely terrifying, that even man, the fighter, who will dare torture and death in order to inflict torture and death, will be appalled, and so abandon war forever.”
“If we human beings rely only on material development, we can’t be sure of a positive outcome. Employing technology motivated by anger and hatred is likely to be destructive. It will only be beneficial if we seek the welfare of all beings. Human beings are the only species with the potential to destroy the world. Because of the risks of unrestrained desire and greed we need to cultivate contentment and simplicity.”
“All our inventions have endowed material forces with intellectual life, and degraded human life into a material force.”