"When I go to the beach, even..." - Quote by Phyllis Diller

“Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.”

“My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.”

“My father used to call me the laughing hyena.”

“Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.”

“We are the only nation in the world that waits till we get into a war before we start getting ready for it.”

“I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.”

“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.”

“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.”

“The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.”