“He who kisses girl on hillside is not level”

“He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.”

“The injury of prodigality leads to this, that he who will not economize will have to agonize.”

“Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk”

“Don't be concerned about others not appreciating you. Be concerned about your not appreciating others.”

“Have you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity?”

“Now see that noble and most sovereign reason, Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh.”

“That England, that was wont to conquer others,Hath made a shameful conquest of itself.”