"Baseball is wrong, man with four balls..." - Quote by Confucius

“At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning.At thirty, I stood firm.At forty, I had no doubts.At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven.At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth.At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without sin.”

“The Master said of Gong Yechang, “He is marriageable. Although he was once imprisoned and branded as a criminal, he was in fact innocent of any crime.” The Master gave him his daughter in marriage. (Analects 5.1)”

“I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet.”

“If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.”

“I wish to become rich, so that I can instruct the people and glorify honest poverty a little, like those kind hearted, fat, benevolent people do.”

“I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.”

“Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.”

“I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.”

“I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.”