"When he proposed he said, "We'll make..." - Quote by Phyllis Diller

“I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.”

“His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.”

“[When to have a facelift:] If you're tripping over your neck.”

“Where I come from, they don't think much of men who are bossed about by their wives.”

“My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark”

“My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.”

“Women are more attuned to feelings than men are, and if they’re not being truthful, more often than not it’s because they think truth might hurt your feelings. But it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.”

“Each moment of every one of my relationships serves as the secret path to the summit of myself.”

“To collaborative team members, completing one another is more important than competing with one another.”