"We have been flooded with postal cards..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they would interfere with flight.”

“I guess the negative thing that happens to me is that I'm old now. They said there was a generation I was too young for and now some will say there's probably 10 generations I'm too old for. They'll say, isn't he dead or retired or whatever? Or it just becomes fashionable to say "Oh he's not funny anymore," which, I don't know, maybe to them I'm not. I'm more likely to hear that now than I am to hear that I'm unacceptably risqué.”

“There's a test they can do to determine a baby's gender ahead of time; I think they insert a tiny photo of Leonardo DiCaprio into the uterus, and if the baby punches it, it's a boy.”

“If we are safe today, it is because America has stood with us. If we are to remain safe tomorrow, it will be because America remains powerful and self-confident. When, therefore, the Americans face difficulties, we need to say to them more clearly: We are with you.”

“(Not) even the US can impose peace: it has to be genuinely accepted by both parties involved.”

“... happily the Government of the United States... gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance.”

“But since there is but one aim for the entire state, it follows that education must be one and the same for all, and that the responsibility for it must be a public one, not the private affair which it now is, each man looking after his own children and teaching them privately whatever private curriculum he thinks they ought to study.”

“There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. The poor can think of nothing else.”

“The real safeguard of democracy is education.”