"Last year we said, 'Things can't go..." - Quote by Will Rogers

“I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.”

“If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.”

“It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute.”

“Nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the onset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have a malady in the less attractive forms.”

“I start out by believing the worst”

“It's always darkest before it becomes totally black.”

“To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves... The modern world in comparison, ignores it.”

“The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of Tokyo to wear matching outfits than to get any two randomly selected Americans to agree on pizza toppings.”

“My dear friend, we mustn't give them even the slightest excuse to judge us! Otherwise, we end up in pieces.”