"It's a good thing that beauty is..." - Quote by Phyllis Diller

“Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.”

“When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.”

“Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood.”

“Lawyers are the jackals of commerce.”

“Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's.”

“My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.”

“Music is the crystallization of sound.”

“Venice seemed incredibly lovely, elvishly lovely--to me like a dream of Old Gondor, or Pelargir of the Numenorean Ships, before the return of the Shadow.”

“‎"Does all the beauty of the world stop when you die?" "No," said the Old Oak; "it will last much longer - longer than I can even think of." "Well, then," said the little May-fly, "we have the same time to live; only we reckon differently.”