"A critical function that we journalists perform..." - Quote by Dave Barry
A critical function that we journalists perform at political conventions is to try to get into parties that we have not been invited to. There are dozens of these parties, sponsored by large corporations with a sincere public-spirited desire to become larger.
More by Dave Barry
“You must prepare yourselves, young people, because Uncle Dave's generation is getting old. We are almost ready to go to the retirement home to spend the rest of our days tapping our bedpans rhythmically in time to "easy listening" rock 'n' roll. We must pass the torch on to you, and you must grasp it, ideally by the end that is not on fire.”
“Be advised that there is no parking in Europe.”
“It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta”
More on Humor
“Well I won't argue about the matter. You always want to argue about things. That is exactly what things were originally made for.”
“get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.”
“My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.”
More on Journalism
“I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children.”
“The most consistent and ultimately damaging failure of political journalism in America (is that it) has its roots in the clubby/cocktail personal relationships that inevitably develop between politicians and journalists.”
“Here's what I think about music and journalism: The most important thing is to just press play.”