"Snowboarding is an activity that is very..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“Your friends love you anyway.”

“Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.”

“We don't shoot somebody soon, I'm gonna forget how”

“Keith Richards is the only man who can make the Osbournes look Amish.”

“Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.”

“Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.”

“I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”

“Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.”

“It doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter what other people think. You have to get on the ice and participate and play and the best team wins.”