"We have always had dogs, and they..." - Quote by Dave Barry
We have always had dogs, and they have faithfully performed many valuable services for us, such as: 1. Peeing on everything. 2. When we're driving in our car, alerting us that we have passed another dog by barking real loud in our ears for the next 114 miles. 3. Trying to kill the Avon lady.
More by Dave Barry
“People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'”
“The story you envision as you start out is always a great story; when the facts turn out to be different from, or more complex than, what you expected, your first reaction is always disappointment. That's when you must fight the urge to bend the story to your preconceived notions. First, it's dishonest. And second, in the end, the truth is always the best story.”
“Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.”
More on Humor
“After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.”
“You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?”
“However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.”
More on Dogs
“I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.”
“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”
“I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.”