"I've always found relationships, men and women,..." - Quote by Dave Barry
I've always found relationships, men and women, the fact that they are so radically different, and it manifests itself in so many different ways, and yet somehow we still try to live together and be friends. I find that endlessly valuable as a source of material for humor. Generally dogs are always funny in my opinion. And the federal government - just a relentlessly productive source of humor.
More by Dave Barry
“I walked out of the movie "Lincoln" and bought the book [of Doris Kearns Goodwin] at the bookstore next door.”
“I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.”
“'I'm sorry,' guys are always telling women, 'but I'm just not ready to make a commitment.' Guys are in a permanent state of nonreadiness. If guys were turkey breasts, you could put them in a 350-degree oven on July Fourth, and they still wouldn't be done in time for Thanksgiving.”
More on Humor
“And now leave me in peace for a bit! I don't want to answer a string of questions while I am eating. I want to think!" "Good Heavens!" said Pippin. "At breakfast?”
“I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.”
“I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.”
More on Relationships
“If I cannot get men who steer a middle course to associate with, I would far rather have the impetuous and hasty. For the impetuous at any rate assert themselves.”
“The Master said, “If your conduct is determined solely by considerations of profit you will arouse great resentment.”
“If you begin by sacrificing yourself to those you love, you will end by hating those to whom you have sacrificed yourself.”