"Rice is great if you're really hungry..." - Quote by Mitch Hedberg
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
More by Mitch Hedberg
“I had to take a physical to do this show. They had a lot of weird questions like, "Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?"”
“I went to a tent store. "What kind of tent do you need?" "Circus."”
“That's always disappointed me, to see a guy in the crowd who doesn't look like he's having fun but in general if you just listen to the crowd it sounds like they're having fun. So I don't want to focus on the one guy who's not having fun. And by closing my eyes and just listening, I can't hear that he's not laughing but I can see that he's not laughing.”
More on Humor
“I should be a postage stamp, because that's the only way I'll ever get licked. I'm beautiful. I'm fast. I'm so mean I make medicine sick. I can't possibly be beat.”
“The laws of gravity cannot be held responcible for people falling in love.”
“One day soon you will meet a man, and he will rise like a phoenix from the ashes, and it is my greatest hope that he will not give you syphilis.”
More on Food
“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.”
“Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'”
“Just because I like sushi, doesn't mean I can make sushi. I've come to well understand how many years just to get sushi rice correct. It's a discipline that takes years and years and years. So, I leave that to the experts.”