"A lion chased me up a tree,..." - Quote by Confucius

“I could see peace instead of this.”

“Bird in hand makes it harder to blow nose.”

“A man who does not think and plan long ahead will find trouble right at his door.”

“You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really, that's what scientists believe. In fact many scientists actually use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the summer. If you visit a scientist's house on a sultry August day, you'll find a cheerful fire roaring on the hearth and the scientist sitting nearby, remarking on how cool he is and drinking heavily.”

“Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.”

“On the whole, the great success of marriage in the States is due partly to the fact that no American man is ever idle, and partly to the fact that no American wife is considered responsible for the quality of her husband's dinners.”

“Don't judge a man by where he is, because you don't know how far he has come.”

“Basketball isn't my job.”

“To have beautiful lips, say beautiful things. To have beautiful eyes, look at people and see the good in them.”