"A friend gave me a drug for..." - Quote by Mitch Hedberg
A friend gave me a drug for attention deficit disorder, because he's afflicted, but I'm not. So what happened to me is I suddenly had an extra-long attention span. People would tell me a story, and it would end, and I'd get all mad. "Come on, man, there has to be more to that story."
More by Mitch Hedberg
“I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.”
“Pepperidge Farm bread. That's fancy bread. You can tell it's fancy because it's wrapped twice. You open it, and it still isn't open. That's why I don't buy it. I don't need another step between me and toast.”
“It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.”
More on Humor
More on Drugs
“People want to catch a buzz. That is why drugs are illegal, yet people still try to get their hands on them no matter what the consequence. Drugs make us happy, they may not be healthy.”
“Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with with your self-esteem. They're no good at all.”
“I slipped myself some pink Xannies/And danced around the house in all-over print panties.”