“He who kisses girl on hillside is not level”

“He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.”

“The injury of prodigality leads to this, that he who will not economize will have to agonize.”

“Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk”

“Don't be concerned about others not appreciating you. Be concerned about your not appreciating others.”

“For in my youth I never did apply Hot and rebellious liquors in my blood.”

“I hourly learn a doctrine of obedience.”

“Keep thy foot out of brothels, thy hand out of plackets, thy pen from lender's books, and defy the foul fiend.”