"I've always wanted to have a suitcase..." - Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler.
More by Mitch Hedberg
“I went to a tent store. "What kind of tent do you need?" "Circus."”
“I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.”
“I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.”