"When you look at the average American..." - Quote by George Carlin

“As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.”

“Energy experts have announced the development of a new fuel made from human brain tissue. It's called assohol.”

“People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.”

“It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.”

“When I'm doing a book tour in the States, I'll wake up in the room sometimes in an anonymous chain hotel, and I don't know where I am right away. I'll go to the window, and it doesn't help there either, especially if you're in an anonymous strip and it's the usual Victoria's Secret, Gap, Chili's, Applebee's.”

“With all our crime and all our immorality ... and about as much contentment and respose as a fresh-caged hyena, we go to tell the whole world: we are the only one with the right idea!”

“The most vulnerable and yet most unconquerable of things is human vanity; nay, through being wounded its strength increases and can grow to giant proportions.”

“At the bottom of all these noble races the beast of prey, the splendid blond beast, prowling about avidly in search of spoil and victory.”

“How to gain, how to keep, how to recover happiness is in fact for most men at all times the secret motive of all they do, and of all they are willing to endure.”