"Baseball is the only major sport that..." - Quote by George Carlin

“I love individuals. I think people are terrific as I meet and get to know them. I like imagination. I like the freedom that this society manages to parcel out to us in the midst of the rest of what they do to you. I also like thinking about the fact that the atoms in me are the same atoms that are in all the rest of the universe, and that every one of those atoms came from the middle of a star. In other words, it's only me out there.”

“The writing is what gives me the joy, especially editing myself for the page, and getting something ready to show to the editors, and then to have a first draft and get it back and work to fix it, I love reworking, I love editing, love love love revision, revision, revision, revision.”

“If a lobster didn't look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water.”

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.”

“I don't always know what I'm talking about, but I know I'm right.”

“The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.”

“When you're playing an exhibition, you're kind of letting everyone get an opportunity.”

“Golf. Trying to knock a tiny ball into an even smaller hole with implements ill suited to the purpose.”

“I've been watching Messi for some time now, and his ability to decide games and keep possession of the ball is amazing.”