"What if there were no hypothetical questions?..." - Quote by George Carlin
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
More by George Carlin
“Cocaine was different. It kept saying, "You haven't had enough." I became an abuser almost instantly.”
“Humor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It's surprise that makes the joke.”
“I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream. So there is some compulsion involved. But the dividend I get is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.”
More on Logic
“The fundamental laws are in the long run merely statements that every event is itself and not some different event.”
“I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.”
“How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?”
More on Language
“Of course language is not an infallible guide, but it contains, with all its defects, a good deal of stored insight and experience.”
“Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?”
“I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".”