"How now, wit! Whither wander you?..." - Quote by William Shakespeare

“Affection faints not like a pale-faced coward, But then woos best when most his choice is froward.”

“If people knew how much I hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.”

“Conscience doth make cowards of us all.”

“Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.”

“The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.”

“Hypocrite: The man who murdered his parents, and then pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.”

“No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.”

“You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?”

“He kills her in her own humor.”