"If honesty were suddenly introduced into American..." - Quote by George Carlin

“I love it in a movie when they throw a guy off a cliff. I love it even when it's not a movie. No, especially when it's not a movie.”

“People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.”

“How do you write zero in Roman numerals?”

“Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions, but those who kindly reprove thy faults.”

“I hold the maxim no less applicable to public than to private affairs, that honesty is always the best policy.”

“The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man.”

“Over-sentimentality, over-softness, in fact washiness and mushiness are the great dangers of this age and of this people. Unless we keep the barbarian virtues, gaining the civilized ones will be of little avail.”

“Any society which does not insist upon respect for all life must necessarily decay.”

“Youth! There is nothing like youth. The middle-aged are mortgaged to Life. The old are in Life's lumber-room. But youth is the Lord of Life. Youth has a kingdom waiting for it. Every one is born a king, and most people die in exile.”