“I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful. I like birds, bees, I like people. I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful... like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in pre-school!”

“She [Benzino] is obsessed with me. I never would think I would see the day when I seen the worst rapper in the world going against one of the best.”

“Imma be what I set out to be without a doubt undoubtedly.”

“My pen and paper causes a chain reaction, to get your brain relaxing.”

“My morals went when the president got oral.”

“Come now, what masques, what dances shall we haveTo wear away this long age of three hoursBetween our after-supper and bedtime?”

“Performing on a stool, we've got a sight to make you drool, seven virgins and a mule, keep it cool, keep it cool.”

“Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like to watch both of 'em at play, either back home in their native state, or after they've been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington.”