"That would be cool if the earth's..." - Quote by Mitch Hedberg
That would be cool if the earth's crust was made out of graham cracker. It would disappear just like the ozone layer, but for completely different reasons.
More by Mitch Hedberg
“I like it when people come to see me again, but you end up playing to that person only. You know there's other people out there, but you also know that the person who came to see you again is there. You're like, "I hope he's happy again."”
“I bought a house, it's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there are. This bedroom has an oven in it. This bedroom has a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom is over in that other guy's house.”
“I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.”
More on Humor
“A positive attitude and a sense of humor go together like biscuits and gravy.”
“I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.”
“When you swear, swear seriously and solemnly, but at the same time with a smile, for a smile is the twin sister of seriousness.”