"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?..." - Quote by George Carlin
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
More by George Carlin
“But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?”
“I was trying to get out of the night clubs and was thinking maybe I'll go to the colleges now; that's where you can speak your mind.”
“My grandfather, mother and father were gifted verbally, and my mother passed that along to me. She always made sure I was conscious of language and words.”
More on Humor
“I have a Sharpie. I love Sharpies. You know what they say on them? Not for letter writing. That sucks. Now I have to communicate with my dad using numbers.”
“Its getting late early”
“We were totally opposite - me coming from the West Coast and a junior college, and him [ Christopher Reeve] from the hard-core Ivy League. He used to be the studly studly of all studlies, and I was the little fool ferret boy.”
More on Logic
“Reason: The arithmetic of the emotions.”
“"No comment" is a comment.”
“I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I have to tell them something that is going on. "What time is it, Mitch?" "Uh, that guy is eating a hamburger." "Shi*, I had to be somewhere..."”