"When people say “clean as a whistle”,..." - Quote by George Carlin
When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
More by George Carlin
“I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.”
“I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.”
“I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.”
More on Humor
“You have no idea what an appetite it gives one, being executed.”
“If you want to be equal with me, you can get your own Rolls-Royce, your own house and your own million dollars.”
“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”
More on Language
“In conversation the game is, to say something new with old words. And you shall observe a man of the people picking his way along, step by step, using every time an old boulder, yet never setting his foot on an old place.”
“[Heraclitus speaks as if] in entrancement ... but [also] truthfully.”
“If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?”