"I hope I don't sound like an..." - Quote by Dave Barry
I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: “How can I get in on that?
More by Dave Barry
“I'm happy to start on one topic and end on another one entirely, as long as it's funny.”
“If, when you talk to people, they keep backing away from you, it's because you're TOO CLOSE, alright? SO DON'T KEEP ADVANCING ON THEM LIKE A HUMAN GLACIER.”
“I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.”