“Wisdom is not only to be acquired, but enjoyed.”

“The great theatre for virtue is conscience.”

“When confronted by a hungry wolf, it is unwise to goad the beast, as Cato would have us do. But it is equally unwise to imagine the snarling animal a friend and offer your hand, as Pompey does." "Perhaps you would have us climb a tree!”

“The office of liberality consisteth in giving with judgment.”

“I depart from life as from an inn, and not as from my home.[Lat., Ex vita discedo, tanquam ex hospitio, non tanquam ex domo.]”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail.”

“I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster”

“Such antics do not amount to a man.”

“Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life.”

“Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you?”

“I never had a drink in my life. I don't smoke or anything.”

“After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.”

“I stopped drinking when I had children because I wanted to be awake and aware. I did not want to be going, you know, daddy loves you and then drop my head on the table. I do not want to miss anything that they do or say. It is important to me.”