"If it weren't for marriage, men and..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“WARNING: This is assuming your spouse's name is Margaret.”

“I really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds.”

“As the saying goes: "If you're not part of the solution, you're a newspaper columnist."”

“Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.”

“If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?”

“If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?”

“Listen, first of all, my wife is my best friend. My love for her is deeper than anything. The reality is, I'm not involved, I wasn't involved and I'm not going to be involved. Am I concerned for both of them Sure there's concern from me. I'm more worried about them than me. I'm like you guys, I'm trying to figure it all out.”

“I'm not really that girl who dreams about her wedding day.”

“Men? Sure, I've known lots of them. But I never found one I liked well enough to marry. Besides, I've always been busy with my work. Marriage is a career in itself and to make a success of it you've got to keep working at it. So until I can give the.”