#Medicine Quotes

“By medicine life may be prolonged, yet death will seize the doctor too.”

“The patient, treated on the fashionable theory, sometimes gets well in spite of the medicine.”

“The physician is happy in the attachment of the families in which he practices. All think he has saved one of them, and he finds himself everywhere a welcome guest, a home in every house.”

“I love doctors and hate their medicine.”

“A physician is an unfortunate gentleman who is every day required to perform a miracle; namely to reconcile health with intemperance.”

“A physician is one who pours drugs of which he knows little into a body of which he knows less.”

“Doctors put drugs of which they know little into bodies of which they know less for diseases of which they know nothing at all.”

“The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.”

“Nineteen hundred and three will bring great advances in surgery, in the study of bacteria, in the knowledge of the cause and prevention of disease. Medicine is played out. Every new discovery of bacteria shows us all the more convincingly that we have been wrong and that the million tons of stuff we have taken was all useless.”

“The poisons are our principal medicines, which kill the disease and save the life.”

“Homeopathy is insignificant as an act of healing, but of great value as criticism on the hygeia or medical practice of the time.”

“An allopath comes and treats cholera patients and gives them his medicines. The Homeopath comes and gives his medicines and cures perhaps more than the allopath does because the Homoeopath does not disturb the patients but allows the nature to deal with them.”

“We can't socialize the doctors without socializing the patients.”

“Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.”

“But tell me, this physician of whom you were just speaking, is he a moneymaker, an earner of fees, or a healer of the sick?”

“The long-term vision is to replace, repair and regenerate failing tissues and organs with the materials of tissues and organs. It's still 'out there,' but it's possible to put together a grant proposal now that doesn't sound completely crazy.”

“The physician, to the extent he is a physician, considers only the good of the patient in what he prescribes, and his own not at all”

“No families take so little medicine as those of doctors, except those of apothecaries.”

“I firmly believe that if the whole material medica, as now used, could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it would be better for mankind-and all the worse for the fishes.”

“I have endeavored to show that there is no real service of humanity in the profession of medicine and that it is injurious to mankind.”

“Take a dose of medicine once, and in all probability you will be obliged to take an additional hundred afterwards”

“Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says on the bottle, do not have more than two. Then why do they have a candy coating? I cannot help myself. Let me have ten Advil, I have a sweet tooth.”

“Disease increases in proportion to the increase in the number of doctors in a place.”

“Medicine is a collection of uncertain prescriptions, the results of which, taken collectively, are more fatal than useful to mankind.”

“Medicines are only fit for old people.”

“Physicians, when the cause of disease is discovered, consider that the cure is discovered.”

“A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.”

“Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements.”

“Strive to preserve your health; and in this you will better succeed in proportion as you keep clear of the physicians, for their drugs are a kind of alchemy concerning which there are no fewer books than there are medicines.”

“Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body.”

“Just a little sheep dip. Panacea for all stomach ailments.”

“Medicine heals doubts as well as diseases.”

“Kitchen Physic is the best Physic.”

“The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.”

“Skin diseases are something doctors like, the patient neither dies nor gets well.”

“Optimistic lies have such immense therapeutic value that a doctor who cannot tell them convincingly has mistaken his profession.”

“The medical profession (is) a conspiracy to hide its own shortcomings. No doubt the same may be said of all professions. They are all conspiracies against the laity... (U)ntil there is a practicable alternative to blind trust in the doctor, the truth about the doctor is so terrible that we dare not face it.”

“He said that private practice in medicine ought to be put down by law. When I asked him why, he said that private doctors were ignorant licensed murders.”

“When men die of disease they are said to die fromnatural causes. When they recover (and mostly they do)the doctor gets the credit of curing them.”

“Every doctor will allow a colleague to decimate a whole countryside sooner than violate the bond of professional etiquette by giving him away.”

“Nothing is more dangerous than a poor doctor: not even a poor employer or a poor landlord.”

“The true aim of medicine is not to make men virtuous; it is to safeguard and rescue them from the consequences of their vices. The physician does not preach repentance; he offers absolution.”

“Stimulate the phagocytes.”

“There is at bottom only one genuinely scientific treatment for all diseases, and that is to stimulate the phagocytes.”

“A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.”

“The test to which all methods of treatment are finally brought is whether they are lucrative to doctors or not.”

“I tell you, the old-fashioned doctor who treated all diseases has completely disappeared, now there are only specialists, and they advertise all the time in the newspapers. If your nose hurts, they send you to Paris: there's a European specialist there, he treats noses. You go to Paris, he examines your nose: I can treat only your right nostril, he says, I don't treat left nostrils, it's not my specialty, but after me, go to Vienna, there's a separate specialist there who will finish treating your left nostril.”

“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?”

“Make it compulsory for a doctor using a brass plate to have inscribed on it, in addition to the letters indicating his qualifications, the words 'Remember that I too am mortal'.”

“A serious illness or a death advertises the doctor exactly as a hanging advertises the barrister who defended the person hanged.”