"I never joined the army because at..." - Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I don't relax by parting my legs slightly and putting my hands behind my back. That does not equal ease. At ease was not being in the military. I am at ease, bro, because I am not in the military.
More by Mitch Hedberg
“So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.”
“I got my hair highlighted because I felt some strands were more important than others.”
“I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I have to tell them something that is going on. "What time is it, Mitch?" "Uh, that guy is eating a hamburger." "Shi*, I had to be somewhere..."”
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“When they remain in garrison, soldiers are maintained with fear and punishment; when they are then led to war, with hope and reward.”
“Let's keep our boots polished, bayonets sharpened, and present a picture of force and strength to the Red Army. This is the only language they understand and respect.”
“They will avoid ... those Overgrown Military establishements which ... are ... particularly hostile to Republican liberty.”