"Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can..." - Quote by Will Rogers

“The farmers can be thankful. Didn't the Farm Board decide in Washington last week that they could have cheaper interest? All the farmers have to do now is to find something new to put up as security.”

“I make a living off (politicians), so I can't knock 'em. Every time we elect some fellow we think he's terrible and then when we get another one in he's worse. So, I am always in favor of keeping the one we've got and let the other go.”

“I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.”

“80 percent of the balls that don't reach the hole, don't go in.”

“Mickey Mantle was a very good golfer, but we weren't allowed to play golf during the season; only at spring training.”

“Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.”

“Incubated. And then raised. And then beheaded. And then plucked. And then cut up. And then put on a grill. And then put on a bun. Damn, it's gonna take a while. I don't have time. Scrambled!”

“When you invite a middle-aged moralist to address you, I suppose I must conclude that you have a taste for middle-aged moralizing.”

“Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?”